Hospital, my new best friend?

Eelmises postituses kiitlesin mõnuga, et kui hästi ma end sellel tsüklil ikka tunnen. Kunagi ei tohi ikka niimoodi kiidelda, sest see tundub alati veits halvasti lõppevat. Ja nii juhtus seekordki. Tsükli teise nädala alguses tundsin, et suu on veidikene imelik ja valus on süüa. Ja üleüldiselt oli veidi kehv olla. Mõtlesin, et “ah, mis seal ikka, läheb üle”, aga tegelikult ei läinud. Sisimas juba arvasin, et ilmselt lõpetan haiglas jälle, sest tsükli teise nädala lõpuks (11-13 päev), nagu juba varasemalt olen maininud, on valgete vereliblede tase hästi madal ja organism ei suuda haigustega iseseisvalt võidelda.

Kolmapäeva õhtuks oligi palavik käes, küll aga “suhteliselt pisikene”, 37.6. Hästi külm oli olla ja magasin kampsuni, salli ja soojade sokkidega, keset suve. Järgmise päeva hommikuks oli temperatuur 38.6ni tõusnud ja pidime kahjuks haiglasse sõitma. Seekord olin veits targem ka, teadsin, et ilmselt jään sinna mitmeks päevaks, seega pakkisin juba kõik vajalikud asjad kaasa (a’la sussid, pesemisvahendid ja tuduriided). Nagu ikka, tehti miljon testi ja minu enda hematoloog tuli mind vaatama, tegi kerge ülevaatuse ja ütles kohe, et mul on suu ja kurk ville täis (suhteliselt tavaline keemiaravi kõrvalnähtus) ja hakkan mitu korda päevas anti-viiruse (herpes) vastast rohtu + kahte erinevat antibiootikumi saama. Nojah, mis seal ikka. Terve esimene päev-õhtu-öö oli ikka suhteliselt kehv olla kõrge palaviku ja suu-kurguvalu tõttu. Virisesin elukaaslasele ikka korduvalt, et kuidas ma ikka täna öösel ära suren, haha. Aga jäin elama.

Haiglas veetsin seekord kokkuvõttes 4.5 päeva. Peamiselt seetõttu, et seekord võttis valgetel verelibledel topelt aega, et “normaalsele” tasemele jõuda. Hematoloogi sõnul juhtus see kuna viimane (tõstetud) keemiaravi doos oli organismi jaoks teps liiga kõrge. Viimaseks tsükliks tõmmatakse doos eelmisele tasemele – juhu, seekord ehk pääsen haigeksjäämisest. Ahjaa, nende päevade jooksul sain seekord 2x vereülekande, sest hemoglobiin oli jällegi liiga madal. Pluss, vereülekanne on nagu vitamiin (vähemalt tundub niimoodi), peale vereülekannet on alati nii hea ja energiarikas olla. Pole ime, et vampiirid verd armastavad. Ma armastan ka.

Who is that Egg?

Sellega seoses tegelikult tahaksingi oma lugejatelt midagi paluda. Ma ei tea kui palju teadmisi teil verevähkidega seoses on, aga inimene, kes on põdenud verevähki ei tohi mitte kunagi (enam) verd annetada/olla organidoonoriks. See teeb mind nii ääretult kurvaks, sest ma olen ise kogenud kui oluline väärtus on vereülekandel ja annaks kõik, et saaks abivajajaid aidata. Seega, PALUN, sellel aastal (ja igal järgneval), parimaks jõulukingiks (nii mulle kui paljudele teistele abivajajatele)  – palun minge ja annetage verd. Ma oleks teile nii ääretult tänulik.

Hetkel tunnen end vägagi hästi, nagu poleks haige olnudki. Reede õhtu on käes ja nädalavahetus on tulemas. Ei teagi täpselt, mis peale hakata. Ilmselt niisama chill, võib-olla kuskile randa ujuma/peesitama ja kenale brunch‘ile pühapäeva hommikul. Esmaspäeval hakkab keemiaravi viimane, 8s tsükkel – täpselt nädala aja pärast ongi KÕIK. Tehtud! Ja saab tavapärast elu edasi elada, iseasi kas see enam kunagi endine on. Sellega seoses – järgmisel pühapäeval (4 detsembril, issand juba jõulud käes!!!) kolime Canberrasse. Vaikselt olen juba hakanud tööd otsima ja erinevatele (huvitavatele) positsioonidele kandideerima. Põidlad pihku, et kunagi uue aasta alguseks töö olemas oleks. Ei jaksa enam niisama kasutu luuser olla…

Ja sellised mu viimased paar nädalat olnud ongi, veidikene draamatilised. Tänud lugemast. Ja PALUN minge annetage verd 🙂


In my previous post I was bragging so much about feeling so good this cycle. Bad idea, no one should ever brag about something like that. It seems to always end in a negative way. And it sure did end negatively for me. On the very first day of the second week of the cycle I felt that my mouth (?) hurts a bit and it was quite painful to eat. And I felt a bit “off” overall. Of course I was hoping that these feelings will go away, but deep inside I knew they won’t and it can only get worse. Mainly because the second half of second week is the worst – white blood cells are non-existent and my body can’t fight any kind of infection whatsoever.

By Wednesday night I had a “small” temperature – 37.6. I felt so cold, thus was sleeping with a sweater, a scarf and warm socks. By morning, my temperature was through the roof (38.6) and we had to go to the hospital immediately. At least this time I was a  bit smarter and knew I will probably spend a nice long weekend at the hospital again, hence packed a bag full of necessary (&comfortable) stuff (e.g. slippers, body wash, sleepwear) with me already. As always, doctors did multiple tests (e.g. x-ray, blood tests, swabs) and even my own haematologist came to see me to take a look what’s happening. She was pretty quick determining that my “sickness” was due to the mouth sores I had (very common side effect of chemotherapy). To get rid of those and reduce the temperature, I had to get 2 different types of antibiotics and an anti-viral drug multiple times a day for the following few days. I felt so horrible throughout the whole first day/night at the hospital and was constantly complaining to my boyfriend how I’ll probably just die that night. Obviously, as I am currently writing this post, I’m still alive and well. But it must have been a bit (or a lot?) annoying for him. Big respect for him to still taking care of and putting up with me. And the best boyfriend award goes to…:)

All together, this time, I spent 4.5 days at the hospital. Mainly because it took much longer than previously for the white blood cells to bounce back to a “normal” level. According to my haematologist, it happened because the dosage increase that happened for Cycle 7 was a bit too high for my body to handle. Thus, they’ll decrease the dosage for the previous level for the upcoming cycle. Juhu, hopefully it means I won’t be getting sick this time! But still have to be careful and keep the nasties away, obviously.

Also, during the stay,  my haemoglobin was VERY low and I had to get blood transfusion, twice. Receiving blood feels like eating vitamins – you get this massive boost of energy so quickly after transfusion. Super weird. No wonder vampires love blood. So do I.

img_1223

It’s going IN, errr!

In relation to this topic, I would actually like my readers to do something for me. I’m not too sure how much you guys know about blood cancers, but it shouldn’t come as a big surprise that once a person has had a blood cancer, they are unable to donate blood and/or be an organ donor, ever. If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Who would want a blood from someone whose “whole system” is damaged?  Anyway, what I’m asking from you guys for this Christmas (and all the upcoming ones) is to go and donate blood for me and others who absolutely need it. It is such a small gesture to do, but it means so much for someone else. It can literally save someone’s life. Knowing me, you probably imagine how much I would love to do it myself, but I can’t. Thus, I would really do appreciate if you would. Thank you.

At the moment I feel good, don’t even feel like I was at the hospital only a few days ago. And weekend is here! Not sure what to do this weekend, probably just chilling around, MAYBE going to the beach and for a nice brunch on Sunday. On Monday, I’ll start with the last, 8th cycle, of chemotherapy. In exactly ONE WEEK it’s over. Done. Finished. I can finally return to a “normal” (is it ever going to be the same again?) life. It actually starts on next Sunday (4th December) when we move to Canberra. Slowly but surely I’ve started to look (and apply) for jobs already. Hopefully can find something interesting and relevant to my interests soon enough. Cross your fingers that I’ll score a position by early next year. Kind of sick of being a useless loser by now…

So that was a short description of the past few weeks, just a little bit dramatic. Thank you all for reading. And PLEASE go and donate some blood 🙂

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