Finally, my long-awaited post.

Nonii, ma olen ikka nii halb blogija. Luban ja luban, et kirjutan ja siis lõpuks ikka ei kirjuta. Ma tegelikult imestan, et ma üldse nii kaua vastu pidanud olen. Ma olen varem ka bloginud, aga nendel kordadel on blogid vastu pidanud maksimaalselt paar kuud. Üritan parem olla, aga samas mulle tundub nagu mul ei ole mittemillestki eriti kirjutada ja keda mu igav elu ikka huvitab…

Aga olgu, asume asja kallale. Kuigi ütlesin eelmises postituses, et postitan oma teekonnast taimetoitluseni (postitus on suhtkoht valmis ja ootab mustandite all…), siis seekord siiski räägin pigem eelnevast keemiaravi tsüklist, PET uuringust ja hematoloogiga kohtumisest. Tean, et see on teema, mis paljudele siiski rohkem huvi pakub.

Eelmine keemiaravi tsükkel möödus suhteliselt üllatustevaeselt. Mingeid kõrvalmõjusid ei olnud, haigeks ei jäänud. Kõik oli suhteliselt tavapärane ja kui tavaliselt võtab peale keemia saamist suht 4-5 päeva aega, et “normaalselt” tunda, siis seekord oli juba teisel päeval peale keemia lõppu suhteliselt tavapärane olla. Ainult veidi valu/ebamugavust rinnakus teatud hetkedel (nt. sügavalt sisse-välja hingates) – sellele tundele ei ole eriti seletust, peale selle, et “mass” teeb valu kuna sureb/väheneb. Seega ei olnud nagu millegi üle viriseda. Tunne oli hea ja läksin PET uuringule  hirmuvabalt, kuigi keemiaravi õed mainivad alati, et paljudel patsientidel on enne uuringute tegemist hirm peal ja põevad tulemuse üle…ma olen vist liiga chill, et põdeda – suhtumine on selline, et pole mõtet põdeda asjade üle mida ma ei saa kontrollida. Tegin reede hommikul uuringu ära ja ootasin teisipäeva, et hematoloogi juurde vastuvõtule minna.

Teisipäeva hommikul mingi väikene närv ikkagi oli kuna ei teadnud ju, et kas ongi “kõik” ja keemiaravi on minevik või pean veidikene ikka veel “kannatama.” Ja seetõttu ka, et rumal laps nagu ma olen, alati teen miljon plaani ette, ilma tegelikult teadmata, et kas saan need plaanid ellu ka viia… ja tuligi väikene pettumus. Hematoloogi kabinetti astuds olid ta esimesed sõnad põhimõtteliselt (tavainimese slängis…) “Sorry Marit, me otsustasime kogu tiimiga, et sa kahjuks ei saa 6 tsükliga lõpetada….” Jutt jätkus pikemalt, aga ma olin niiiii pettunud, et mu plaanid rikutud on (hea jobu ju?!), et eriti ei kuulanud mis ta edasi seletas. Elukaaslane hiljem selgitas mulle ja miskit mäletasin ise ka, et kuigi vähi aktiivsust enam ei ole (suurepärane uudis ju,st vähk on surnud!!!!), siis “mass” mu rinnakus on vähenenud üle 30% ja limiit 6 tsükliga lõpetamiseks protokolli alusel on 20%, st. pean saama 2 lisatsüklit, et 100% kindel olla, et mingid pisikesed vähirakud end kuskil ei peida ja vasturünnakut ei plaani. See “mass”, mis hetkel järele on jäänud on ilmselt lihtsalt (surnud) armkude, mis kõigi eelduste kohaselt jääb sinna igaveseks. Hematoloogi sõnul on see antud vähitüübi puhul täiesti ootuspärane.

c24e44e4d62dd1e1d762b9c73df07acd

Seega kokkuvõttes saan 8 tsüklit keemiaravi, mis iseenesest on täiesti OK, sest hematoloogi sõnul peale 8 tsüklit mu žanss (antud) vähi mittekunagi tagasitulemiseks on 95%, ÜHEKSAKÜMMENDVIIS PROTSENTI, nii tore onju! Kahjuks arsti kabinetis olles ja lahkudes ma nii õnnelik ei olnud ja olin nii pahane arsti peale (ma ei oska emotsioone väga hästi varjata…), et ta “pahad” uudised edastas – mu plaanid olid ju rikutud – hiljem sain aru kui rumal ma ikka olen, vähk on ju kutupiilu ja antud 2 lisatsüklit on vajalikud “to seal the deal.”

Ilmselt mõtlete, et mis need eluvajalikud plaanid küll olid? Plaanisime elukaaslasega minna väiksele (tegelikult väga suurele) 2,5 nädalasele roadtripi’le Ulurusse – see suur maailmakuulus KIVI keset Austraalia sisemaad – enne Canberrasse kolimist kuu lõpus-uue alguses. Aga noh, mis seal ikka. Teinekord. Ei kao see kivi kuskile…

Selle asemel otsustasime sõita pikaks nädalavahetuseks Lõuna NSW-sse. Tegelikult postitamise hetkel olemegi juba oma sihtkohas – Batemans Bay’s. Rentisime lühipuhkuseks mõeldud korteri ookeanist ületee. Jõudsime siia alles paar tundi tagasi, seega pole veel eriti ringi vaadanud ja pilte teinud, üritan nädalavahetusel mõned pildid teha ja ehk saan (mõnes) järgnevas postituses sellest nädalavahetusest pikemalt jutustada ka.

Vaade meie teekonnal Batemans Bay’sse / View on our way to Batemans Bay (Kiama, South Coast NSW)

Nii mõnus, homseks lubab 29 kraadi sooja ja veetemperatuur on 21. Suvi on käes, ehk õnnestub isegi selle aasta esimesed ujumised ära teha!

Aga mis seal ikka, esmaspäeval algab keemiaravi 7s tsükkel. Viimane keemiaravi (8nda tsükli viies päev) on 2 detsembril, seega vähem kui kuu aja pärast. Mõnesmõttes on seekord parem ka, viimasel päeval tean täpselt, et see on VIIMANE päev ja saan õhtut “nautida” kooki pugides vms. Peale keemiaravi lõppu pean tegema uue PET uuringu, 6 nädalat hiljem (jaanuari keskel), et kinnitada, et asjaga on totaalselt finiito. Samas järgnevad 5 (!!!) aastat pean mitu korda aastas käima verd andmas, PET/KT uuringutel ja hematoloogi juures, et kontrollida, et kõik kenasti ikka OK.

Nii, et hipphopp hurray – rõõmustame nüüd kõik koos heade uudiste üle!

Kallidmusidpaid.

I’m such a bad blogger. I always promise and promise and promise that I will write (about something…) and then at the end I won’t. For weeks. I’m actually surprised that I’ve lasted for so long. I’ve had couple of blogs before, but they only lasted for a few weeks, maximum. I try to be better, but I always feel like I have nothing to write about and that no one cares about my boring life anyway…

But alright, let’s get straight to the important stuff. Though I said in my previous blog post, that my next post will be about my adventures of becoming a vegetarian (mostly vegan!), then actually this post won’t be about that at all. It is about my latest chemo cycle, PET scan and meeting with my haematologist. More interesting topic for most people anyway, right?

Actually the latest chemo cycle was quite uneventful. I didn’t have any side effects, didn’t get sick, didn’t end up in the hospital. Everything was pretty normal. I even felt pretty normal, much faster than I regularly did actually. I used to feel pretty crap and tired for 4-5 days after chemo finished, but this time I actually felt pretty decent only 2 days after. The only complaint I had/have was the occasional pain in my chest where the tumour is located – this pain has been explained by doctors as the tumour shrinking/dying.

Last Friday I had a PET scan to see whether I can finish with the chemo or if I need additional 2 cycles. I had a pretty good feeling about the scan – I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t stress about the scans and for having to wait for the results. According to the chemo nurses, so many patients always worry prior and after the scans, there’s even a term for that – “scanxiety.” I’d rather not worry about things I can’t control. It’s just better to relax and wait when there’s nothing to do about it anyway. So, Tuesday came and I went to the haematologist office. Though, I can’t hide, I was a bit nervous that morning, but mainly because “big planner as I am”, I expected to get the best news and to  be done with chemotherapy and made so many plans for the weeks prior moving to Canberra  at the end of THIS month…

…And of course, entering the haematologist cabinet, she was pretty quick to give me the “bad news”. She told me that after discussion with other doctors and radiologists, she has decided that she doesn’t feel comfortable to finish the treatment just yet. Wait WHAT?! After she said that I totally “lost it” and didn’t really listen further…how come she ruins my plans, right? Doesn’t matter at all that my life is on the line. I’m so silly sometimes! Haha, anyway, my partner told me later that she said that the PET scan showed really good results and there’s no cancer activity anymore. THAT’S AWESOME! …But as the tumour itself has shrunk more than 30% – according to the protocol, the limit for shrinkage between cycle 4 and 6 in order to finish treatment is maximum of 20% – I need to get additional 2 cycles to make sure that no nasty cancer cells are hiding somewhere and planning for a revenge… Fair enough. Whatever is left of the tumour at the moment is most likely just a residual mass/scar tissue, it is expected that some of it will remain there, probably forever.

3bdbf340c6f9c2e6d266e9a1c794038249df70d821cd01b86c9dd0f6cb97628f.jpg

So, as a result, I will be receiving, all together, 8 cycles of chemotherapy, which is totally fine, as according to my heamatologist, my chances to be CURED (not in remission, but CURED!) from cancer are 95%, NINETY FIVE PERCENT, that’s awesome, right?! Unfortunately, whilst being in her office, I was so upset for her to give me “bad” news and ruin my plans that I was being a little bit*h and didn’t even tell her “thank you, goodbye” when I left. So embarrassing now, but I assume she expected me to be a bit unhappy. Now, of course, I realise how silly I was – I got the most awesome news, cancer is gone and the 2 extra cycles are just necessary to “seal the deal.”

You are probably thinking what big plans did I have for the upcoming weeks that made me so upset? Well…me and my partner were planning to go for a “short” 2.5 week roadtrip to Uluru (this big ROCK in the middle of Australia. Rings a bell?) before moving to Canberra. But oh well, some other time. I assume the rock won’t disappear anywhere…not anytime soon at least.

As the 7th cycle won’t start until Monday (7 November), we decided to go for a long-weekend getaway and rented a small holiday apartment across from the ocean in Batemans Bay, South Coast NSW, 4 hours drive from Sydney. This mini holiday started this morning, I am actually writing this blog post from our destination where we arrived only a few hours ago…Unfortunately haven’t been able to look around that much yet, but will do over the weekend. The weather forecast promises 29 degrees for tomorrow (water is 21 degrees), meaning that I can probably go for my very first swim this summer. I’m so glad that summer has almost arrived. Best part of the year,definitely. And I totally needed a break to fully relax and prepare myself for the last 2 cycles. My last treatment day will be 2 December (less than a month!) and I will be moving to Canberra on 4 December. Totally a new clean sheet and a new beginning then. Though I still need to have another PET scan 6 weeks after the treatment has finished, just to make sure everything is going well. Plus I need to have regular blood tests, PET/CT scans and visits to my haematologist for the following 5 (!!!) years to be sure that nothing has changed.

That’s all for now, I will continue to enjoy my long weekend. And all of you, PLEASE continue to be supportive and happy for me. And have a piece of cake to celebrate the good news I received the other day,

Xoxo

eat-all-the-cake.jpg

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s